I'm ok, I'm just tired!

So, anyone with depression will know that the title of this post is one of the lies that we love the most.

"Are you alright?"
"Yeah I'm fine, I'm just really tired."

I can't even count the amount of times that I've used this excuse over the years and the amount of times that the asker believed me. No one ever challenged it because people don't know how to handle someone with depression. Its scary for them and I can understand why, there are no rashes, no fever, often no outward signs at all and when people ask what you're feeling and you tell them "nothing" its a pretty sure fire way of shutting down the conversation. Why does no one see past the fake smiles? Why does no one bother trying?

Its so easy to feel alone during depression. This was something I really struggled with, but I didn't realise that I wasn't actually giving anyone the chance to help me. I never talked about it to anyone besides my best friend, who was also suffering from depression. My family was completely in the dark. I think they eventually guessed but I made it so hard for them to approach me or bring it up that they just quit asking. If I could go back now and change just one thing that would be it. I wouldn't change the self harm, I wouldn't even change the depression, but I would let the people who wanted to support me do just that instead of shutting them out. Why do we shut out people when we need them the most?

So go on, go tell someone. Tell your mum or dad, your best friend, your sister, even your school councillor, just make sure it is someone you trust. If you can't say it out loud write a letter and give it to them. Express yourself! As someone with depression I know just how hard that it, but its certainly not impossible! The more you practice the better you will become.

YOU are the key to your own recovery. YOU can do it.

Be brave xx